I Was A "Better" Parent Before Kids

Let's face it... we are always better parents BEFORE we ever even have children. We look at the kid throwing a screaming fit in the middle of the frozen food section at Walmart and swear we would never tolerate such behavior. I mean, that mom is just ignoring her kid and continuing to shop! *Gasp*

Then your sweet bundle of joy comes along and shows you how terribly you have been. Now instead of judging the mom at the grocery store, you look at her with that sympathetic look that says... I feel ya girl, I feel ya. 

So in honor of that grocery store mom, I have decided to share the top four (delusional) ways that I was a "better" parent before my son was born. 

1. My kid will not eat junk food. 

Ha! My kid eats cheezits and cheerios off the floor. I mean, germs are good for the immune system, right?

2. I am not going to put up all my breakables. I will teach him what is acceptable to play with and what is not. Just like my grandma did us.

😂 I know, this is hilarious, right!?!

3. I will not dump my kid off at Grandma's every chance I get. He's my kid to raise. 

Nope. I get it now. Mom's need those time when the kids are at grandma's so they don't murder anyone. Also so they can eat, sleep, and poop in peace. Who's ready to go see Grandma tonight?

4. I will not "bribe" my child. This is one of those that I completely go against every day. I am constantly negotiating with and bribing my little terrorist. At least goldfish crackers are cheap...

I think it's so funny now, looking back at how absolutely clueless I was. Moms I know you feel me. I know you too look back and giggle at your former resolve and parenting expertise.

And those of you who aren't moms... just know that right now, you are the "best parent" you will ever be! So judge away at my baby throwing a tantrum in the middle of the restaurant while I hang my head in defeat and ask for the check. Judge me for letting him try the chocolate cake or eat the french fries. Judge me for all the times I am selfish and I let him stay with his grandparents on the weekend so I can have a moments peace. Go ahead... I did before I had a kid.